Douchebaggery seems to be the go-to method of getting hired for some people. I see it all the time. Not just kissing ass (though that is part of it), but truly being a douchebag. The ten rules of douchebags at the office:

1. Deepthroat your bosses when they are around, but talk shit about them when they aren’t.
2. Take other people’s ideas and present them as though they are your own.
3. Live way above your means and brag about your awesome apartment or sweet ride to everyone at the office as though you’re making a lot more money than they are.
4. Help yourself to other people’s shit without asking (food in the community fridge, tissues on others’ desks, etc.).
5. Volunteer to do stuff, but never get around to doing it because you’re too busy with your own shit.
6. Ask for favors not because you need help but because you just don’t want to do something.
7. Be the reason every project is late.
8. Make it your personal mission to hook up with everyone else in the office.
9. Lie on your resume and during your job interview to get a job you don’t deserve.
10. Vocally express your opinion about the shitty job everyone else is doing, because your own work is perfect.

I could probably go on, actually. You know the type. Office douchebags. And these guys (and gals) are found everywhere, not just in office environments. I know some who work virtually, for example. They’re everywhere.

The problem is, in an office environment, if can be pretty easy to slip into douchbaggery without even realizing it. It starts small - flirting with the girl in accounting or being late with a project because you were surfing Facebook. Soon it devolves and you become more and more of a douchebag until the other long-time employees remember a time when you were actually a cool dude/chick to hang out with after work and newer employees are being warned to stay away from you.

The worst part about it? Douchebags don’t like their jobs.

You may have loved the job when you took it, but if you turn into an office douchebag, you’ll start hating going to work. You have to be insincere about your bosses. You have to deal with people who can’t wait to get away from you. Your projects are increasingly drawn-out. Others get recognized for their work, while you seem to be spinning your wheels. For a douchebag, work sucks.

And no one wants that.

Being a douchebag might seem great at first, but it never lasts. Instead, be the guy the douchebags are trying to be - the one who is liked by his/her boss and coworkers, who has awesome possessions because of good spending habits an well-deserved promotions, who works with amazing people on interesting projects, who never has to lie about experience he/she is freaking awesome without the fibbing. It takes a little longer, but it doesn’t fade.

Image from jimbotfuzz.